When people surprise you

When you least expect it and need it most.

I am very easy to assume people are not interested or willing to help. But I have been shown otherwise.

Yesterday, I felt I was alone. Very alone. I was very very down. Lost in the darkness of my mind, I felt the world against me.

My neighbour, who I have become very used to and her quirky ways, showed up at my hour of need. I did not know my neighbour before she moved in just under two years ago. Her daughter aged almost three, was fascinated by my chickens so I invited her over to help clean them out. A bonus for me as bending down isn’t my forte. A little person doing the shovelling that I struggle with was more than welcome! This continued for a while and into the summer when my children would then invite her over to play. This escalated after the fence between our gardens got blown over in a blast of British summer weather and was not replaced. We now have any easy walkway between our gardens.

Since this, we have pretty much seen each other in situations that you would never normally see your neighbour. She fell pregnant and did not have an easy pregnancy at all. I honestly though I was going to catch that child as I would be through that gap in the garden every time I heard her scream in pain. I did not catch the child, but thankfully, both survived the ordeal.

We have seen each other in various states of dress… pyjamas, underwear and even formal wear. But yesterday, I was at my lowest and darkest moment. Stuck under my dark cloud sobbing my heart out not wanting to continue. The person that came to comfort me and keep me safe was my neighbour. She rallied around and contacted my carer who also helped, way beyond her remit and past her paid hours. Wrapped in a towel with wet hair, my neighbour sat breast-feeding her baby and stroking my wet hair as I cried. She called her mother, a GP who organised for the crisis team to come out. Sadly, I am familiar with these visits. But they are amazing people who ensure the safety and well-being of people, who are as they say, at crisis point.

I was never left alone in those dark hours. With children at their grandparents (having the time of their lives) I awaited the emergency Dr’s arrival.

I have been admitted to wards and sometimes they help, other times they just mask the issues I am facing. I did not want to be admitted. I need to start facing my issues. Head ON as it were.

I have to face reality and deal with my demons as it were. They are not unfathomable or insurmountable. They are not as big (although they are BIG) as they feel at 2 am. At 2 am EVERYTHING feels bad…. But it’s remembering that with sleep and support, I will overcome this hurdle called LIFE.

I need to remember that there are more people willing to help me than I give credit for. And I guess this goes for a LOT of people, that do not know just how many people will go out of their way to ease the pain and difficulties that get thrown in our pathways. Neighbours, family, friends or even strangers. There will always be someone.